


Love Doesn't Discriminate Between the Sinners and the Saints

by Wrote_My_Own_Deliverance



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1920s, Bartender John Laurens, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Gay John Laurens, Gay Sex, M/M, Multi, Musician Lafayette, Police Officer Alexander Hamilton, Polyamory, gay relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-08-27 05:15:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16696120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrote_My_Own_Deliverance/pseuds/Wrote_My_Own_Deliverance
Summary: Set in the 1920's during prohibition. Alexander Hamilton is a reserved cop but when he follows his hunch to an underground speakeasy he meets John Laurens, the striking man who's far more than meets the eye.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was just supposed to be a one-shot, but it kind of exploded.

“Go home, Hamilton.” The boss's voice was stern.

 

“But, sir!” I started, sliding across my desk to cross the room to him as he draped a scarf around his neck and sat his hat on his bald head. 

 

“Hamilton, go home. Even if there were a secret bar, we don't have jurisdiction there. That's precinct number four’s problem.”

 

“But, sir, I know it. I know it past a hunch. I know it, I really do.”

 

“Good night.” He shut the door behind himself and I leaned back against my desk and folded my arms over my guns. 

 

The precinct was dark and empty now, I was the last one there. The lamp on my desk was the only source of light, illuminating my papers chaotically strewn across the surface. 

 

“Bullshit,” I mumbled and was struck with an idea. 

 

I could do my own recon work. Go down to the spot myself on unofficial police business. Before I left, I retucked the tail of my shirt and grabbed my jacket off the rack along with my hat. Carefully, I made my guns more inconspicuous under my clothing until they were nearly invisible and left the precinct. It was a quick walk to the brick building. Standing still enough, I could hear jazz coming from under the street. Trying to survey the situation I struck a match and lit a cigarette, eyes wandering over the scene. It was all I could do not to tap my foot to the music, I realized that it might help me build an undercover character.

 

This mission wouldn't be a takedown, just a scout, I didn't have the manpower to blow up the spot, so I would settle myself in and try to make like I was enjoying myself, learn what I could. Flicking my cigarette butt to the ground I steeled myself and went into the building, immediately stopped by a large man. 

 

“Can I help you, pal?”

 

“I'm just, uh, headed downstairs if you don't mind.”

 

“Need a password.”

 

I sprung into action, my mental faculties sharp enough for the challenge, “and that seems like a poor business model. You want cash, I've got plenty, you want business, I've got more of it. You want single guys willing to shell out on a pretty bird? Well, I'm building an aviary.”

 

He folded his arms, “password.”

 

I wasn't used to my charm not working and figured this guy too dense to be taken by me, “look, I just need to blow off steam, had a rough day down at the office, heard your music, it's awful loud, y'know, thought you could use some patronage, helps us both out.”

 

A woman in a short black dress with pin curls was mounting the stairs, “oh, let him in, Barney.” she slipped past me and I couldn't help but notice how the fringe of her dress framed her figure. 

 

The man, Barney, stepped aside but curled his lip at me in disgust. I tipped my hat to him and made my way down the stairs. The ceiling was low, but it was filled with people, pretty ladies with tall glasses in their hands, men watching the band play, a five piece jazz band, they played a lively, swinging tune. I took a seat at the bar and surveyed my surroundings, coloured people mingled with white folk, all dancing together, half the band was dark folk. There was a tap on the bar in front of me. 

 

“What can I getcha?” the bartender drummed his fingers on the bar and I swallowed hard realizing just how little I knew about alcohol, I needed to blend in, knowing I’d be out of luck if I was found out. 

 

I blinked and stared at him. He wore curly hair to his shoulders tied back at the base of his skull, one curl had escaped its confines and was hanging over his forehead, dancing over his eyes - one part emerald, one part clay, strands of gold woven to bind the hues. I swallowed hard. 

 

He laughed at me, dimples pocking his cheeks as he did so. The bartender turned back around, shaking his head and pulled a bottle off the shelf, he poured generously into a short glass and handed it to me. 

 

“Finest whiskey I've got.”

 

I took a drink as though it was water and it burned my throat and stung my eyes until they were damp, I felt my face turn and twist. He laughed at me again while I smacked my lips, trying desperately to regain my composure. 

 

“Haven't seen you before.” He started to wipe a clean glass with a towel and I took him in. He wore a button down, white, clean, but creased from movement, over it a dark vest trimmed his figure, contrasting the wide leg trousers he wore. He was a looker. 

 

“Don't suppose you have.” I agreed.

 

“What's an upstanding citizen like yourself doing in a place like mine?”

 

“Needed a drink.” I tried to play it off and took a tiny sip of the amber liquid before me. 

 

“You did, huh? Ever had one before?”

 

The truth fell out before I could stop myself, “had a beer once.”

 

He turned to put the glass he was still wiping away and I watched his shoulders shake with laughter, “had a beer once.”

 

I took another drink and clenched my fist under the bar at the sting, trying not to show the discomfort on my face. 

 

Feeling my cheeks flush in equal parts embarrassment and alcohol I wanted to change the subject, “you don't see things get out of hand mixing colored folk and whites?”

 

“All are welcome in my bar. Take a few liberties with one law, what’s the risk of taking a few more?” He winked. 

 

I could have been putty with that wink, instead, I steeled myself with another sip from the drink. 

 

“I guess so.” I nodded, wondering just how many laws were being ignored. 

 

“What’s the real reason you came here tonight, baby? You lonely? You sad? What is it?” He leaned against the heel of his hand on the bar, stretching halfway across it toward me. 

 

“Baby?” I ignored his question. 

 

“You heard me.” His eyes were hooded and from this close I could make out a million tiny freckles dappling his complexion. 

 

“I did hear you.” I agreed dumbly, losing myself to the warmth of my drink and to the captivating reflection of his eyes. 

 

“I’m John Laurens, what’s your name, baby?”

 

“Alexander… Hamilton.” I didn’t mean to give my real name. 

 

He pulled my glass across the bar and downed the rest in one gulp, exhaling heavily against the burn, and slapped the glass back on the bar. 

 

“Well, Alexander, why don’t you come back and see me tomorrow? The code word is Rochambeau,” he pulled me toward him by my tie, “and leave the guns.”

 

“O-okay.” I smoothed myself out, feeling dizzy.

 

I hurried back up the stairs and out into the chilly night. How had he pegged me so easily for a cop? My guns were tucked so securely, there was no easy way to see them. I was in deep, but I wanted to see him again. I needed to. In the chilly night air I walked back to the closet that I called home and hung up my weapons and tossed my dirty clothes into a sack in the corner before falling into bed. My head hurt from the liquor. 

 

How could I like him so much? He was a criminal. What he was doing was so wrong. So illegal. But he was so beautiful. My stomach lurched at the thought of him tugging me in by my tie. I was sure that in that moment he was going to kiss me and I was disappointed when he didn't. I wanted to kiss him, to know what it would feel like to melt into him, brush back that pretty, long curl from his face, to trace his features, use his dimples as a map to find his mouth in the darkness. I smiled in the darkness.  _ Rochambeau.  _ John Laurens. It was a beautiful name. The image of the pretty girl walking up the stairs paled in comparison to anything that John did. Him wiping a glass was more beautiful than the Sistine Chapel, him leaning over to put it away more striking than the pyramids. I sighed to myself. 

 

The next day I sat in the office a new stack of paperwork on my desk to be sorted through. My fingers worked furiously at the keys of my typewriter, trying to make it through the stack. The boss was sitting in his office. I wished that he would clear me for my recon mission, that I could be there on official police business. The jurisdiction excuse was a copout, the underground bar was precisely on boundary lines. I was going back tonight. It was easy to get through the work on my desk before the end of the day, but I forced myself to work slower to have an excuse to leave last again and slip off to the bar, to see John. My lips pulled back over my teeth when I thought about him. I couldn’t help myself, he was all I could think of. 

 

“Goodnight, Hamilton. Don’t work yourself too hard.” Washington turned to leave the building.

  
“Night, sir! See you Monday.”

 

I hurried to finish my work and hustled to the bar. There was a new doorman upstairs. 

 

“Password.” He insisted. 

 

Cockiness slipped into my voice, “Rochambeau.” 

 

He grumbled and let me pass. I took the same seat that I had the previous night, but there was no one behind the bar, only a commotion near the stage of people cheering and the most beautiful voice I’d ever heard was singing along with the band. I turned on my stool to look at the stage and saw John Laurens singing, rocking in time to the music on the balls of his feet. He wore the same styled trousers, but had exchanged his vest for suspenders. My jaw dropped as my brain made the connection of John and the voice I was hearing. The instruments came to their final flourish and John held a long note, finally cutting it off, he swept his hands over his hair, pushing that single curl back until it fell over his eyes again. The rest of the patrons went wild in their applause. 

 

“Alright, alright,” he beamed, waving them off and grinning at the floor, “that’s enough, back to work.” 

 

He hopped off the stage with an extra bounce in his step and made it back behind the bar.

 

“Hiya, Alex.” He smirked at me.

 

“Hello, John.” I nervously tried to keep my emotions in check and pull the corners of my lips back down. 

 

“What can I get you?” 

 

“A… the… what I had last night was fine.” 

 

He laughed at me again and pulled down a different bottle and poured some of the contents into a glass for me.

 

“This here is the nicest ‘shine you can get from Appalachia, this one’s special, sweetened with molasses, give you less of that burn that twists up your face all cute. See how nice I am? Willing to sacrifice seeing your face all cute?”

 

I smirked at him, “thanks. I sure liked your singing. Where’d you learn to sing like that?”

 

“Church mostly. Try some.” He pointed to the glass. 

 

I smelled it curiously and wished that I hadn’t but took a cautious sip. This was sweeter, milder. I could tolerate this. 

 

“It’s better.” I nodded.

 

“Thought so. Now, Alex…” he leaned far over the bar toward me and I could see the curve of his hips, I couldn’t help but stare, he reached into my coat, letting his hands slide over my chest slowly, and fingered the barrel of my weapon, “what did I say about bringing guns in my bar?” 

 

I stammered like a doe, “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

 

“You’re not the only cop I serve, but they all know the rules and they follow ‘em, too. Just because I think you’re handsome doesn’t mean that I’m just fixin’ to let this slide.”

 

My breath caught and I readied myself for whatever would come next, “I’m sorry about the guns. I just get so used to having them on me that they’re like my second skin.” 

 

“You staking me out? Reporting back in to your superiors about the goings on here?”

 

I sat in silence like a child and tipped my head down.

 

He spoke again, “and how about this, Alexander… do you tell them about the way that you look at me? Do you tell them about the way that your pupils blow out every time I bend myself over this bar to get a little closer to you? Do you report the way that you hold your breath every time that I touch you?” 

 

“I haven’t told anyone anything.”

 

John laughed and leaned in closer, “I believe you… that’s the funny part. I believe you, so what’s your angle here Hamilton?” 

 

I didn’t want to tell him, but I couldn’t convince myself to lie to him either, “I had my suspicions about this place so I figured I ought to check it out. I… that’s why I was here yesterday.” 

 

“And you came back today why?”

 

I gulped, “because I wanted to see you.”

 

“See, I’ve got as much on you as you’ve got on me. Way I see it, either of us squeals, the other’s out a job. Can’t imagine New York’s finest being too thrilled about their pansy cop, can’t imagine they’d be too thrilled about my business either. Now we can shake on this like gentleman, and then you give me the pleasure of kissing you like your lips are the air I need to breathe, or I’ll have to have Joey up there make you… go away… s’pose the kiss is optional, but, boy I sure would like to.”

 

I managed to steel myself, somehow even more intrigued by the darkness in his voice, he knew how to handle himself, he was my equal, something I scarcely found in any partner. Running through situations I thrust my hand out and he shook it, firm, good strong shake and then for the second time in as many nights pulled me in by my tie, getting me close to him and kissed me. His mouth was warm and sweet but I stiffened against him, I was no movie star, if someone saw this I couldn’t even imagine what would happen. He pulled away, sensing my discomfort. He wore the brightest grin I’d ever seen that made butterflies flutter in my belly. 

 

“Sorry, I just can’t be doing that in public.” I stated softly. 

 

“Interested in doing it not in public?” 

 

“Very.” I agreed. 

 

“I can close this house down in the next hour. Sit a spell and sip your way through the ‘shine.”

 

“Alright,”

 

“Boys, play us home!” John shouted over the music. 

 

“You’ve got an accent. You a southerner?” I asked, suddenly wanting to know everything about this brilliant man. 

 

“I am.”

 

“Why did you come here?” 

 

“Same reason everyone comes to New York… escaping religious persecution.” 

 

“What religion?” I made a face, I couldn’t imagine what he meant.

 

“No, baby, the religious were persecuting me. Being a fairy isn’t exactly the most welcome thing down where I come from.” 

 

“I get by well enough going both ways, but I keep this on the hush from the precinct.” 

 

“At least you get the perk of playing it off.” 

 

“You don’t like girls?” 

 

“Not even a touch, good for business, though, they try to charm me into free giggle water and it just don’t work.”

 

I thought for a moment and felt myself blush, “I never paid you for my drink last night.” 

 

“I also drank two-thirds of it. Don’t worry about it, on the house.”

 

“How many of these girls do you think would be jealous knowing I’m getting drinks for free?”

 

“At least half of ‘em.” He looked around his bar with pride. 

 

Why was this illegal in the first place, these people were just having a nice time. Was that really so wrong? He was a business owner, he was successful. I started to question everything that I believed in. 

 

“I am sorry about staking you out.” I stared into my glass. 

 

He laughed and put his hand over mine on the bar, “you act like it’s the first time, I live a life of risk down here, but it’s a good life, I’ve worked hard for it. Just… Will you tell me one thing, honest?” 

 

“What’s that?” I looked into his captivating eyes and wondered what I was doing.

 

“Is your name really Alexander?” 

 

I smirked at him, “it is.” 

 

John sighed in relief, “oh, thank God. That is the most beautiful name in the world. I’d hate to think it was a lie. You’re a bad cop.” He was grinning again.

 

“I know… I didn’t mean to give you my real name, but when you asked you cut through all my intentions and I couldn’t help myself.”

 

“Take another drink.” He instructed me, moving his warm hand to my wrist to push it toward my glass. 

 

I obeyed his request and stared at him while I tipped the glass back against my lips. The sting still railed me, but I was getting used to it. It made me feel silly and diizzy, I wanted to giggle at John, tell him just how pretty I thought he was. 

 

His arm was around my neck, pulling me in to him, he kissed me, pressing my mouth open skillfully with tongue. I ran my own across his lips, so soft, so supple. My hand found his hair and I tangled my fingers into the curls at the base of his ponytail, pulling him in to me. We stayed like that for what my mind thought was hours until he finally separated us and wiped his mouth.

 

“I was right to give you that drink. It tastes as delicious on you as I thought it would.” 

 

“You planned this?” I asked in disbelief.

 

“Oh, honey, I’ve been planning this since last night.”

 

I stared at him in shock and took another tiny sip of my drink, smiling at the taste, at his plot. 

 

“Do you want some of this?” I offered my glass.

 

“Ha, I’m alright. That’s far too weak.” He found a new bottle and poured some into a glass for himself, taking a drink.

 

“What’s that?” I looked at the glass, the liquor looked different, like it was sentient.    
  


“Strongest panther piss they give me.” He laughed and handed me the glass.

 

I smelled the contents carefully, the smell alone burned my eyes, but I wanted to impress him and took an easy drink. It hurt my mouth, it burned my tongue, made my nose run, my eyes tear. I reached for the closest thing to me to remove the taste and downed the rest of my drink without thinking, only intensifying the burning. He was giggling at me behind the bar and took a drink of the vile substance with only a wrinkle of his nose. 

 

“That’s horrible.” 

 

“But it works.” He winked again leaving me powerless. 

 

I listened to the sounds of the band packing up and people started to file over to him to settle up tabs, he greeted almost all of them by name and gave some of them the saturday password. I sat quietly and watched him at work. My mind grew heavy along with my body, everything tilted just off center. 

 

“Are you ready to go?” He was counting cash on the bar. 

 

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

 

“$238 isn’t too shabby for a Friday.” 

 

“You made $238? Tonight? In one night?”

 

He beamed and put some into an envelope that he slid into a safe under the bar, “I sure did.” 

 

“That’s a month’s salary for me. Jesus.” 

 

“Business is good, now come on, let’s go.” He pocketed most of the rest of the cash and kept out thirty dollars, handing it to the doorman on the way out. 

 

I followed him on shaky legs around to the alley off the side of the building where a shiny automobile sat waiting. He hopped in and felt in the visor for a key. 

 

“Of course you have an automobile.” I chuckled to myself.

 

“You know how to drive?” 

 

“Of course I do. I’m a policeman.” I scoffed at his silliness in asking.  

He drove us through the city and I watched the scenery change, getting a little older, a little less nice. 

 

“I know what you’re thinking.” He assumed.

 

“What?” 

 

“You see where I live.”

 

“In Harlem.” 

 

“I surely do.” 

 

“I’m not… thinking anything.” I shook my head. 

 

“Okay, you’re not then. But I know it and I don’t care.” 

 

“Okay.” I closed my eyes, feeling dizzy. 

 

“Alexander,” John was smoothing my hair back, his lips on my ear, “we’re home, baby, you fell asleep.”

 

I blinked a few times to clear the sand in my eyes and realized that I had dozed. We were in front of a brownstone block, the automobile now parked on the street. John set the keys back in the visor and got out, letting his suspenders fall to hang as he did.

 

“God, that feels better.”

 

I got out of the automobile and followed him up the stairs to his apartment. Once inside we climbed another flight and he unlocked his unit. There was a lamp on in the corner, illuminating a man on the sofa with cello between his legs. In the low light I could make out his complexion, he was at very least a mulatto, frizzy hair tied back on the top of his head. 

 

“Good night tonight?” John asked him.

 

“We split eighty between us.” He had an accent, French, maybe even creole. 

 

“Excellent!” John punched the man lightly on the shoulder and then bent in to kiss him on the lips. 

 

I looked away, feeling like I was violating their space, feeling like I’d been played a fool. 

 

“Who’s this?” He set the bow down and looked me dead on. 

 

“Right, this is Alexander, remember I was telling you about the pretty one that was coming in to my spot?”

 

“I am Lafayette. Pleasure.” 

 

I remembered my manners and nodded, “nice to meet you.” 

 

“He is pretty. I’ll be out here.” Lafayette grinned up at John. 

 

“I love you.” He kissed him again and turned his attention back to me. 

 

I followed him dumbly through the apartment to his bedroom where he took off his shoes and put them in the closet.

 

“I was gonna explain things, but you knocked out on me.” He sat on the bed and started to unbutton his shirt. 

 

“Okay, this might be a good time to explain, then.” I bit down on my lip, mind too cloudy to make heads or tails of the situation, but I took off my jacket and my guns, setting them in a chair in the corner of the room.

 

He pulled his shirt off and took my hands silently asking me to sit beside him. I did. He brushed my short hair back behind my ear. 

 

“Lafayette out there is my heart and soul, my partner… but we have an understanding… we both have an... appetite, and we allow each other to indulge that appetite. We love each other with all that we are, but that doesn’t stop us from enjoying the company of others, I didn’t expect him to be home so early, that’s part of why I stopped the band when I did. I really was going to explain all of this to you. And, look, if this makes you uncomfortable, I’ll drive you home right now and still make good on my end of the deal.”

 

My head spun as I took in all this information, “I think I… understand.”

 

“Okay, okay, good. But you don’t have to… none of it. I really can just take you home.” 

 

“No, no, please God, no, I have to kiss you again. I have to. Please. Just, he really doesn’t mind?” 

 

“Not one bit.” John cupped my cheek. 

 

“Alright… you’re sure?”

 

“Promise you. I told him about you and everything. I really was trying to tell you.”

 

“Sorry.” I felt awkward but just wanted to sink into him. 

 

“Come here.” He pulled me up the large bed and lie down with me, my head resting in the crook of his shoulder, he felt like home and I breathed in the bouquet of his neck. 

 

I nuzzled against him. 

 

“I didn’t mean to get you that drunk. You really can’t hold your liquor. You feeling okay? Sick like, I mean?” 

 

“No, I’m okay, the world’s just spinning a little bit,” I confirmed but then blurted out, “you feel good.” 

 

John chuckled softly and rubbed my back, “you want to just go to sleep that’s okay, I’ll hold you.” 

 

“Hold me?” I asked speculatively. 

 

“Of course. Hold you all night if you want.”

 

I nuzzled into him again and sighed, this felt good, it was almost enough to distract me from the soft, improvised cello music coming from the other room.

 

“So…” I mumbled, “let me get this straight. You love him, he loves you, but it’s okay for you to screw me?” 

 

He laughed again, I loved how easily he laughed, “that’s right.” 

 

“Okay, so if I want to I can just be with you and that’s okay, he’s not gonna be mad at me?” 

 

“Not even a little bit. We have rules that we follow.” 

 

“Like what?” I was fascinated.

 

“Well, we always take a day to ourselves between partners. We always always tell each other about who we’re seeing and if the other one doesn’t like them it’s over.” 

 

“Okay.” I could agree to this. 

 

“Is this… just a fling?” I hated how vulnerable I sounded in asking him. I sounded fragile and desperate. 

 

“No, no, baby, this can be whatever you’d like. Lafayette had a girlfriend for about two years until she moved home to France, we’re allowed to date, but this can be whatever you want it to.” 

 

“So… I can be… with you… while you’re… with him?” 

 

“Sure can.” 

 

I was invigorated, I was drunk, I was hot for him, I turned into him and kissed him hard, moaning at the taste of him on my tongue, slurping and grunting, a cacophony of sounds bursting forth from our union. 

 

“Do you want me?” John asked, rubbing my back again.

 

“Yeah.” I nodded, needing him. 

 

“Do you want me to suck you off?” He traced my features with the tip of his finger. 

 

“Please.”

 

With that, he disappeared under the blankets and pulled my trousers away with my boxers and moaned with the action of taking me into his mouth. I moaned and gripped the sheets feeling him swallow me easily. I turned my head into the pillows and smelled John’s bar, the whiskey and smoke clouds that permeated the bar, but with that there were the notes of jasmine and peony that clung to his neck, but there was also another smell, one of leather and oranges. I breathed them in, how the scents swirled together. John kept working, taking me somehow even deeper into his throat. I moaned and felt my calves shake and thighs tremble and came hard into his mouth. 

 

He pulled back and joined me on the pillows, breathing deeply, inhaling the same scent that I was. 

 

“That was amazing,” I sighed, “I want to know what you taste like.” I dipped down among the covers and could see the outline of his swollen dick through his wide legged trousers.

 

I pulled them open, moving the fabrics away, he sprung free at the ready and I licked him tentatively, tasting him. He tasted like flowers and oak, like the perfect man should. I took him in my mouth and his hands were at my shoulders, delicately touching me. I moaned around him and felt his back arch against the vibrations. He grunted and I swirled my tongue over the tip like he was my favourite flavour of ice cream and he gasped, I licked the beads that ran over the tip, he was delightfully salty. 

 

“You look so good down there, so pretty sucking me off.” 

 

I moaned, no one had ever talked to me like that while I’d done this. He was so delicate with me even as his fingers knotted in my hair, he was gentle and compassionate. I swallowed against him and he moaned again.

 

“Alexander, baby, you feel so right.” 

 

I looked up at him through my lashes and he bit the back of his hand, cumming hard down my throat. I wiped my lips and came up to curl in beside him. He pulled me against his chest and I listened to his heart beating. The cello music had stopped. 

 

“You can just call me Alex.” I told him sleepily. 

 

“Okay, I will.” John kissed the tip of my nose. 

 

“I’ve had a lot of fun with you tonight.” I told him honestly.

 

“Me, too.” He was outlining my goatee with his fingers.

 

“You’ve got a thing for beards, huh?” 

 

“What?” John looked down at me.

 

I motioned to my goatee, “just, well, and I noticed the, your, he has a....” Usually so skilled with words I faltered all over myself, trying to compose a rational thought. 

 

“Oh, yeah, Lafayette.” He laughed softly.

 

“I think I should probably get going.” I inhaled John again, not wanting to leave. 

 

“You don’t have to.” 

 

“I just… this is your place, his… I feel wrong about, anyways…”

 

“Okay, at least let me drive you.”

 

“Okay.” I nodded. 

 

We got dressed and I followed him once more through the dark apartment. His boyfriend slept on the couch under a thin crocheted afghan, his cello in an open case on the floor in front of him. 

 

John bent over him and spoke in a low voice, “I’m taking Alex home, go on to bed, sweetheart.” 

 

Lafayette shook his head, “non, je ne veux pas.” 

 

John kissed his temple, “I still don’t speak French, my love. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

 

I chuckled softly at this sleepy exchange, they were in love. It panged my heart and I wondered if John would ever be able to talk to me like that. We went out into the night and he opened the door to his automobile for me, I slipped in and he got in beside me. I gave him directions to get to my apartment.

 

“He’s originally from France, lived in New Orleans for a while, he always forgets I don’t speak French. I’m sorry, this is probably all too bizarre for you.”

 

I shook my head, “he said, ‘no, I don’t want to.’”

 

John turned down a street and looked at me, “you speak French?” 

 

I nodded feeling sassy again, trying to push the strangeness away, “I can do a lot of things.”

 

John met me at my level, “I can’t wait to find out what else.”

 

I wanted to see him again, I had to, “this is my apartment.” 

 

He stopped the car, “would you like to come over for dinner on Sunday?”

 

“Will your boyfriend be there?”

 

“Do you want him to be?” 

 

I had flashes of earlier, smelling the leather and orange scent while John was lapping at me, I didn’t even know what I was doing in this new whacky world, but I nodded. I wanted to get to know his boyfriend, too. Wanted to hear him play his cello. If John loved him I wanted to know him, wanted to know who he was. I was sure he was wonderful if I could just get past my jealousy. John would go home to him tonight and they would sleep tangled up together and I would sleep all by myself in my tiny shoebox apartment.

 

“Yeah, I want him to be.” 

 

“Goodnight, Alexander.”

 

“Night, John. I had a really good time with you.”

 

He leaned in a kissed me, “so did I.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for the love that you showed for the last chapter. I hope that you enjoy this update. Comments are my lifeblood.

I felt silly knocking on the door to John's apartment, usually I was so confident. I was a police officer for chrissakes. He opened the door and embraced me shaking away the thoughts that were dizzying my mind. I hugged him back, mindful of the amount of time that I kept my arms around him. I didn't want to seem stingy.

"Hi, baby." He kissed me on the cheek and welcomed me in, it smelled delightful in the apartment.

"Hey, dinner really smells swell." I looked around the apartment for his boyfriend, nervous about actually seeing him, I was sure that he would be able to see right through me and know that I had fantasized about him, too. Fantasizing about both of them helped to mitigate some of the jealousy that I felt when I thought about the two of them. They were both so perfect, so beautiful, then there was me.

"Thanks… He's not here if that's what you're looking around for."

"Oh… uh, okay." I felt sad and realized that I was actually looking forward to seeing his boyfriend again, see how truly my fantasies had captured him in memory.

John grinned at me, "why? Were you hoping he'd be here?"

"Well… yeah… I kind of was, I guess." I bit my lip, feeling embarrassed.

"That's cute," he tipped his head to the side, eyes fixed on me, narrowing like he was trying to read fine print, "you like him."

I stammered and felt myself flush.

"You do." He chuckled to himself and went into to the kitchen.

I wanted to change the subject, "can I do anything to help you? I'm pretty useless in the kitchen, but I'd be happy to help you if you need it."

"No, you just sit down, baby. It's almost ready."

I pulled out a chair at the dining table and wondered if it was one of their usual seats. I fingered the varnished wood grain of the table and he brought out our plates, a towel over his shoulder. He'd made some type of roast and mashed potatoes with gravy.

"This looks outstanding." I blinked at the food and tried to remember the last good meal I'd eaten.

"Just a little something," he looked satisfied with himself and took a drink of amber liquid from a short glass, "can I get you a drink?"

I shook my head and remembered the other night, "I'm alright, thanks."

"I figured as much."

We dug into the meal and I was overcome by how good it was. I savoured the tender roast and looked up, he was watching me eat with a sly grin on his face.

"You like it?" He asked me through that grin.

"It's so good," I nodded, "you sure know what you're doing in there."

His beautiful laugh tinkled through the dining room, "we like to cook."

"We? Oh… oh, you and… right…" I thought about him and his boyfriend making a meal together, laughing and being near one another.

I tried to push the pang of jealousy away. I wanted something like that. I wouldn't mind it with him. I didn't even need to be good in the kitchen, I'd just be happy to wash dishes and be near him. It was silly to even think like this, I'd only known him a week. He was just so good looking, pretty long curls, about a million freckles, and those grand canyon eyes.

"You alright?" He asked, poking his fork into his meat.

I smiled, "yeah, I'm swell. So… where is he?"

"He's out, wanted to give us some space for the evening."

"Oh, that was… nice of him…"

"He wants us to have a chance to be alone. We both know that it can be intimidating for our partners when the other is around."

I nodded and took another bite, trying to put my attention back on the food in front of me. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. We finished our meal and he cleared our plates. I thanked him again for the meal.

"Would you like to go to bed?" He asked.

"Go to bed?" I looked at him and then I understood his meaning and nodded.

"You sure you're feeling alright?" He kissed my knuckles and led me down the hallway by the hand.

"I'm fine."

He sat down on his- no, their bed, and didn't make a move to take off his clothes. I sat next to him, close enough to feel the warmth of his body radiating.

"Alexander, baby, talk to me. Let your hair down, it's alright."

"I don't know." I bit my lip and swallowed hard.

"Is it too much?"

I shook my head, "I don't think so."

"So what is it, then?" He wasn't prodding, his voice was kind and soft.

"I think, I think I'm just maybe a little bit confused."

"By what?"

"By how I feel."

"How do you feel?"

I searched his eyes, they were wide he had a worry crease on his brow.

I licked my lips and got ready to speak, "I never felt like this before. Not like this for real. I'm feeling pretty damned silly about it, too."

"Felt like what, baby?" He was really listening.

"I guess, well, I'm nervous. I've never done anything like this before."

"I know it's unusual." He looked like he wanted to reach out and touch me.

"But... I really like you, John. The other night, though, I saw you and your fella and how you were with each other, and I thought that maybe that was something I might like, and well, you know, I just feel like we're sneaking or I'm getting in his way or something."

"We're not sneaking, Alex… Lafayette and I, we have rules."

"I know, you told me. I just… thought that he was going to be here and guess I don't want him feeling run out of his own home."

"Baby, he's not, he's just respectful about giving me space. I do the same for him. He's out with his friends, I think. I reckon they're playing."

"Playing?"

"Musician, remember?"

"Oh, right… Is he… with someone… am I allowed to ask that?"

"You're allowed to ask whatever you want. I don't think he's there with anyone, maybe he'll meet someone. Hope he does."

"You do?"

"I do. I hope he does. Hope they have a great time. He'll tell me about it later."

"What all did you tell him about me? Am I allowed to ask that?"

The tension in the room was dissipating, John pulled me gently down onto the pillows and held me on top of the covers, he kicked off his shoes and I followed suit. He was brushing my hair back from my temples.

"I told him about how witty you are, I told him about how pretty you are, how good you look in the moonlight. I told about how much I like you."

"I'm not pretty." I tried not to meet his gaze, even in the dim light I'd seen his boyfriend. I was nowhere near as good looking as him, and I certainly wasn't pretty.

He pulled my chin closer to him and kissed me softly, "you calling me a liar?"

"No." I looked at his hands instead of his face.

"Pretty bold of you to call me a liar when you came to my club lying to my face." He kept his tone playful, I was glad that we were past that.

"I'm sorry about that."

"I didn't say that to make you sorry, said it to make you listen. You think I'm a liar?"

"No." I repeated.

"So you willing to believe that when I say you're pretty that just maybe I mean it with every fiber of my being?" He looked at me like he was telling the truth.

"I believe you, John."

"Good. You better believe me, Alex. You're so pretty. Want to stare at you all day. Look at those handsome, dark eyes. I like dark eyes and, baby, yours are some of the best I've ever seen. Then there's your body, could melt right into it."

I could feel heat rise to my cheeks as I blushed, I felt my nerves steel and I kissed him. I licked into his mouth and kissed him hard and slow, my fingers knotting into all of that hair. He moaned against my tongue. I wanted him. I needed him. I didn't care about anything else. Anyone else.

"Are you sure you're okay with all this?" John asked, pulling away.

"Yes, John, I swear it." I pushed him back down and kissed him.

We pulled away our clothes and left them in discarded heaps on the floor. I was taken aback again by how good he looked. John explored my body with his tongue, tasting my chest and my neck, my stomach.

It was even better this time than it had been last time. I was left shaking and twitching after our escapade, at least three climaxes for each of us. He was right about his appetite.

"Alright, I guess I better go home." I sighed, sitting up, I was so sad to leave him but I didn't want to overstay my welcome.

"Sorry, baby." John brushed his fingers through my hair. I wasn't sure what he was apologizing for.

"I understand. I get it."

He got up and started to get dressed.

"Where are you going?" I asked him wondering if he knew of another club and had plans to go and find someone else. I hated feeling jealous. I could wrap my head around sharing him with his real boyfriend, but I didn't want to share him with all of New York.

"Taking you home, silly."

"You don't have to."

He smiled and kissed my cheek, "I didn't buy my automobile to let it sit on the street."

"Thank you."

He talked to me while he drove. I asked him questions about his life, wanting to avoid the topic of his boyfriend. I was ashamed of how handsome I'd thought the other man was and felt silly about thinking the way I had about the two of them.

John kissed me goodnight and I went into my lonely apartment.

Work kept my mind active during the days, it kept me from thinking too much about John, or worse his boyfriend. Weeks passed of John and I spending a few evenings a week together. I always went home, or when we ended up in my tiny apartment he always went home. His boyfriend was rarely more than a passing figure, but I thought about him too. I was learning to accept our arrangement, my place in his life. Autumn had given way to winter, leaving New York impossibly cold.

"I'm glad you finally wised up and let go of the bar theory." Washington laughed to himself, perched on the corner of the desk.

"I did, sir. I was out of line to even suggest it."

"Unlike you, Hamilton."

I smiled to myself, "what do you mean? Relenting?"

"Listening to my directives."

"Figure Christmas bonuses are coming up." I winked at him.

He laughed heartily and we looked over a case file for a string of burglaries that had been happening in the area. He told me that he was impressed with the work that I'd been doing. It was hard not to feel cagey around him knowing who I was dating, knowing his profession, that I'd been right about the speakeasy. I wanted nothing more than for it to not be found now. I would've hated if anything bad ever happened to John.

We worked into the evening, the sun was long gone, the wind howled outside. Washington packed up his things and had me promise not to stay too late and that if there were more than two inches of snow in the morning that I wouldn't come in until it cleared. I did to both conditions.

I was about to go home when the precinct phone rang. I answered with the appropriate greeting and was surprised by the voice on the other end of the line. I could hear the southern drawl punctuated by dimples on that sly grin.

"Detective Hamilton?"

I cleared my throat, trying to put off the cocky energy that usually came so easily to me, "this is him."

"Hello detective, I have a… crime I need help solving. Can you help me?"

"What… crime would you like to report… sir?" the cockiness spread across my face in a smirk and I casually placed my hand in my pocket, leaning against the wall.

"You aren't naked in my bed."

I flushed and felt my blood turn cold as my pants grew tighter, "that sounds like quite the atrocity."

"Come over tonight, baby. It's supposed to storm. Come get cozy with me."

"What about… Lafayette?" Saying his name gave him so much more power.

"He'll be here. He wants to get to know you."

"He does?"

"Yeah, now will you just come over, baby?"

I was pretty thoroughly done with my work but I still thought about the implications of Lafayette wanting to get to know me, "I'm on my way."

"Perfect."

I put my hat on along with my scarf and coat and locked up the precinct. The walk to his place wasn't the worst. It was starting to snow.

John quickly opened the door and welcomed me in. Their apartment smelled spicy and inviting from what I assumed was dinner being cooked in another room. Lafayette was on the sofa under the same afghan he'd slept under the previous time and was reading a book, he looked pretty innocuous like that, but he still made me nervous.

"Hey, baby." John kissed me on the lips and I could tell that he wanted the kiss to be more passionate but I kept it chaste with his boyfriend right there.

"Hi," I turned my attention to Lafayette wanting to be polite, "hello."

Lafayette looked up from his book, thin gold framed glasses catching the light, his hair was down this time, right coils framed his face. He was perfect. It nearly hurt to look at him.

"Bonsoir," he had a soft and warm smile, my knees felt in danger of buckling as his eyes crinkled behind their lenses, he turned his attention to John, "go and enjoy. I will finish making us supper."

"Do… you need help?" I asked.

"No, go enjoy John."

"Yeah, baby, come enjoy me." John took my hand and led me to the bedroom that was becoming familiar to me.

Almost instantly we were naked and in his… no, their, bed. I tried to push the sounds of Lafayette making dinner in the kitchen away and instead focused on what John was doing to me. His kitten licks tightened my core, my mouth falling open. He dipped down to the edge of the blankets and took me into his mouth, I turned my head against the pillows and breathed in the cocktail of the different smells. That leather and orange smell made my breath catch again as he swirled his tongue around my tip, somehow it made me enjoy myself more. I didn't think that there could be anything better than his mouth on me.

My legs shook under his ministrations, I cried out for him. My hands knotted in his hair. John's hands stretched over my body, caressing the inside of my thigh, reaching up over my abdomen. Time lost all meaning, I tried to keep track based on what his mouth was doing. I was exhausted by the time that I spent myself deep in his mouth. He licked me off of his lips and came to rest on the pillow beside me, snuggling up against me.

"That… was so good. That… wow." I tried and failed to find the words that usually came so easily to me.

He smiled that lopsided grin and rolled in to face me. I had to kiss those lips, to hold him close. I tangled our bodies together and felt how hard he was against my thigh. I wanted him. Needed even more of him. His cock was swollen and throbbing in my hand as I started to jerk him off.

"Can I make love to you?" He asked me, tipping his head to the side, that one curl dangling over his eyes.

We hadn't gone that far yet, but I needed him so badly. I had to feel him. I nodded in desperation and he reached under the bed, coming back out with a bottle of personal lubricant. I was impressed, I usually just used vaseline. He was heating it up in his hands and nudged my legs apart. I stared up at him and felt him circling my entrance with his slick thumb. I gasped at the sensation pricking at my nerves.

"I like that." I gripped his abdomen.

"You've had a man inside you before?" He asked.

I nodded, knowing what to expect, "yes, just, please, John, I need you."

He chuckled, "alright, baby."

John crooned at me to relax as he slid the first finger in. I moaned into my hand, trying to stay quiet, not wanting his boyfriend to hear us. Not wanting him to hear me. Heat poured from the place John touched me and radiated into my core and down to the tips of my toes. I felt him slide another finger in and start to stretch and move them.

My body writhed under his touch. I needed more of him, needed him closer. I was whispering his name over and over like punishment at Catholic school. He freed his fingers and dipped back under the bed again, coming back with a small package.

"We use condoms with our other partners, I'm sure that you understand." I started to put it on himself and I nodded.

They did have rules. They were responsible and cautious. They loved each other.

He lined himself up and started the slow press into me. I turned my head into the pillows and bit back a cry. He felt incredible, stretching me out, sliding deeper and deeper into me until he was as deep as he could be. He stayed still, feeling my muscles relax and adjust around him, twitching and spasming. I started to open myself to him and he began to move, leaning closer to me, changing the angle just slightly.

I winced hearing dishes clattering in the next room.

"Hey, look at me," he whispered and tipped my chin to face him, "it's just us, all that matters in the world is just us. God, baby, you feel so good around me, love looking down at your pretty face."

"You're so good, John. Want to keep you here forever, just like this."

He started to rock his hips more and more quickly and I bit into his shoulder, beads of sweat percolating on his body the longer that we went. I reached up and pushed back his hair, those lovely long curls and focused once again on the sensations of having him inside me so deeply.

I bucked my hips to meet each of his thrusts in perfect time and watched his face twist in pleasure. It took everything inside me to not cry out as he hit the right spot within me. He caught the intensity of my pleasure and sought to recreate it, assaulting that spot with each deliberate thrust. My feet flexed until the arches cramped and he kissed me hard and deeply, tongue warring with my own and finally I couldn't hold back any longer and came hot and sticky between us.

He didn't last much longer and I bit once more on his shoulder at the feeling of him flooding me trying to silence myself. He pulled out slowly and tenderly, tossing the condom in the trash can beside the bed. Once it was taken care of he was quick to take me in his arms and hold me.

"You were so good." John pressed a kiss to my temple.

"John, that felt amazing. Like nothing I've ever had before. You're a god, beautiful. So good looking."

He smiled out of the corner of his mouth, "I do what I can."

We lie snuggled up with one another and listened to the sounds of the storm starting outside, the wind howling around the the building, I was tired from staring all day at the tiny print crafted by my typewriter and shut my eyes. John combed through my hair and whispered delicate praise into my ear.

A soft knock at the door startled me away, John shushed me lovingly, stroking my arm.

"Dinner is ready, please take your time." The heavily accented voice came through the door.

"Thank you, Laf." John whispered loud enough for the other man to hear and then turned back to me, "are you ready to get up, baby?"

I sighed, wanting to stay in this uncomplicated paradise, but grudgingly got up. John put on a pair of pajamas and offered a pair to me. I didn't want to feel underdressed, but accepted and put the striped garments on. He made sure that I was ready and then opened the bedroom door. My eyes adjusted to the brightness and then my nose caught the smell of the food that Lafayette had prepared for us. I took a seat at the table and John sat beside me, taking my hand, settling it against his thigh and running small circles over it with his thumb. Lafayette took the final seat available.

"This looks exceptional, my love." John leaned over and kissed his cheek, still holding my hand.

The thought of how the three of us were connected, John kissing Lafayette, stroking the back of my hand made my breath catch at the notion as my thoughts turned to how much more we could be connected.

John helped himself to the bowl of stew in the middle of the table and handed me the ladle. I dished some of it out for myself admiring the sausage and shrimp in the heavy sauce. Lafayette served himself last and handed a bowl of rice to John who scooped it directly onto his stew. I copied him, trying not to make a fool of myself.

"Lafayette makes the best gumbo in the whole world." John said proudly.

"Gumbo," it looked familiar and so unique all at once.

I took a bite of the food and was surprised by how spicy it was, I liked it, though, it reminded me of the food I'd eaten as a boy.

"What do you think, Alexander?" Lafayette was looking at me through his gold framed glasses. Something about the formality in how he said my name struck a chord with me.

"It's incredible. It's… my mom used to make something like this. I love it. You're an excellent cook."

He leaned forward closer to me, "you like it spicy?"

I sensed deeper implications and swallowed. John folded his arms and smirked, watching our exchange unfold.

"The spicier the better." I agreed.

"Is that so? You're an interesting little thing, aren't you?"

I blushed and looked down at my bowl.

"Hot damn, Laf. Trying to make my boyfriend cream his shorts over there?" John playfully whipped Lafayette with his napkin.

"I'm your boyfriend?" I asked him, tilting my head to the side.

"Sure hope so. Do you want to be?" that crooked smile won me over.

I looked at Lafayette and he smiled, nodding at me to go on, "do you?"

"Well… I suppose that I would."

Lafayette chuckled, "it was apparent."

"Was it?" I felt my cheeks flush again, wondering what else was apparent to him.

"A little bit." John kissed me on the cheek.

"So, Lafayette, where are you from?" I asked, trying to make conversation to feel less awkward.

"The short version, my love." John told him with a look on his face that suggested that we could be here for hours.

"I am somewhat from Louisiana, but-"

John rolled his eyes, "here we go."

Lafayette elbowed him lightly in the side with a grin and continued, "my papa was from France and my mama was from Louisiana, her grandmother was brought here from Africa and was a slave. Mon mére and mon pére met in Louisiana because he was here to study, and they move back to France, then they have me but they both died, and so I came back to Louisiana and was raised by my grandmother."

"That's not the short version, lover." John giggled.

"Short enough."

"I'm sorry to hear about your parents." I told him.

"It is something that happens." He smiled gently, he had such a pretty smile.

"You forget to tell him you're a princess?"

Lafayette rolled his eyes, "I am not a princess, my love."

"Marquis, princess, whatever, same thing."

"You're a marquis?" I stared at him.

"More or less, it is just a title, no?"

"I suppose?" I couldn't believe it.

"He's a princess. What about you, Alex? Where is your family from?" John asked.

"I'm from… this tiny little island in the Caribbean, I came to New York when I was a kid after a storm devastated my island and killed almost my entire family." I realized I said too much as they looked at me in horror.

"Baby…" John cooed, putting his hand over mine.

"It's fine. I'm sorry, I'm just desensitized to that sort of thing, life of a cop." I shrugged.

"It is something that happens." Lafayette smiled, "how happy it is that we all ended up here."

"Agreed." John laughed, breaking the moment of solemnity.

We finished eating and I helped John and Lafayette clear the table, Lafayette took an armful of dishes into the kitchen and I whispered to John as we cleaned up the table.

"John, are you sure that you want me to stay? I don't want to be in the way."

"You couldn't be in the way if you tried, beautiful." He set down the bowl in his hand and cupped my cheek with his palm, pulling me in for a kiss. His lips felt safe, felt homey.

"Okay… I just know that you two probably want to spend time with each other."

"We've spent years together, and, baby, Laf really likes you, you're not in his way, either. He's the one who suggested that you come over tonight and get snowed in with us. He wants you two to get to know each other better. And baby," he covered my hand with his, "you aren't obligated to anything with us, with me, any of it just gets to be too much, that's okay. I promise. I know what we have, it's unusual."

I turned my hand to rub my thumb against his, "okay," my heart stuttered in my chest, "he really likes me?"

"He does. It's cute."

I bit my lip to keep from smiling and Lafayette returned from the kitchen, I noticed the subtle wink that John gave him.

"Would you gentlemen like to play cards?" John asked.

We agreed and sat back at the table where John dealt. He won every game that we played. Lafayette and I ended up speaking covertly in French to try and strategize against him. I liked the way John's brow crinkled with his pout as he protested our plotting as unfair. Lafayette and I still lost.

"That is enough humiliation for one night." Lafayette threw his hand in.

John chuckled, "I'll collect my payout."

He stood and leaned over the table, kissing Lafayette deeply, hand tangled in his tightly coiled curls. After he was satisfied he scooted down the table and kissed me the same way, his tongue tasted spicy, like cardamom and cloves, more complex than his usual taste. I liked it. He smirked happily to himself as he pulled away. Lafayette and I put the cards away while John looked out the window.

"We aren't going anywhere for a while gentlemen." He turned back to us, pulling the curtains.

"Then we shall drink and enjoy the quiet evening we have been provided." Lafayette cheered.

"Maybe you can teach Alexander how to drink." John laughed.

Lafayette seemed to be up for the challenge and took this as almost military orders. He jumped up and went to the kitchen, returning after a few minutes with three glasses, one contained simply a few inches of amber liquid, he handed that glass to John, but the other glasses held a light pink liquid. He handed me a glass and I accepted it gratefully.

"Cheers." John clinked our glasses.

I sipped the drink that Lafayette made me, shoving aside thoughts of my badge. This was far more palatable than the drinks that John had given me.

"I like this." I told them.

"Bet you do. Laf's a helluva bartender." John grinned proudly.

"I enjoy all of the culinary arts." He shrugged it off.

"My love, will you play for us?" John pleaded of his partner.

"I should not subject Alex to that." He shook his head.

"I'd… like to hear you." I meant it.

"Fine, but for you, Alex. Not you, Jack."

"Jack?" I tilted my head, sipping the drink.

"Would you like to tell the story?" John grinned.

"You may." Lafayette buried his reddening face in his hands, they had so much history together.

"So, I meet Lafayette, here, yeah? I like him immediately. We're flirting the whole darn night. Having a grand ole time so we go back to my place. I realize he's calling me Jack, I'm thinking he's gotta be loony, like maybe that's an old flame he's thinking about. He's howling it out and I'm wondering who Jack is, and almost everything else he's hollering is French, so he doesn't even give me a clue as to what's going on. So we get done and it was great and amazing,  _you'll see_ , and I ask him who Jack is and he looks at me like I'm an idiot. This son of a gun thought my name was Jack all night. It just sort of stuck."

I laughed and Lafayette's face flamed while he pulled his cello out of the case, "he will always be my Jack now."

"I don't mind it." John smirked and pulled me into the living room to sit on his lap in their oversized chair facing the sofa.

Lafayette tuned his instrument while John kissed me. I felt more comfortable with Lafayette being so close, things were starting to feel more natural between the three of us… and Lafayette liked me? The soft music that started playing pulled me from my thoughts and John separated our kiss to watch his beloved play.

I recognized the music and smiled to myself.

"Just warming up." Lafayette said once he finished it.

"That was Bach." I hummed.

"Very good." Lafayette quirked an eyebrow at me and I forgot how to breathe.

He started to play something that I didn't recognize, but I watched him play, enamored by his passion. He bobbed his head with the tempo that he set. I watched his nose crinkle as he felt the music, his eyes shut, his large hands pressed a wide expanse of the strings along the neck of the instrument. The music resonated in the apartment and felt tangible as it swirled around us. John and I both finished our drinks and I felt my head start to swim, my body feeling heavier. We clapped for him once he was finished.

"Okay, you win. I didn't recognize that one." I pursed my lips, hoping the answer would come to me.

"It's mine." He said softly, long eyelashes fluttering as he looked at the ground.

"You wrote that?" I was astonished by his talent.

"No… I made it up… just now… for you both."

"Beautiful as always, my love." John told him and kissed at the air.

"It was incredible, you can play Bach, but also just improvise jazz. Amazing." I was in shock and awe.

"I am trained classically." He shrugged it off, "may I make you another drink?"

"Um… alright. Yeah." I nodded and he set his instrument aside. I stared at it.

"Go ahead." He gestured to it, noticing my gaze.

I reluctantly got off of John's lap and sat on the sofa, putting the instrument between my legs like Lafayette had. I held the bow and rang out a tune, feeling the bow vibrate in my hand. It was a pretty tone. I moved the bow to the next string and then quickly got a feel for the pitches and recreated a simpler version of the Bach piece that he'd played.

Lafayette returned with our drinks and set them down on the side table. I took a deep pull from mine.

"How long have you been playing?" He asked me.

"I've never touched one before now." I answered him.

"What?" John's mouth hung open.

"You must not be serious." Lafayette's brows drew together in disbelief.

"Well… music is just math, you figure out the variables and it's easy enough to solve the equation." I hit a sour note and tried to figure it out.

"It's your posture. May I help you?" Lafayette asked.

"Sure. I was just fooling around, really." I started to hand him the bow and he stopped me.

Lafayette slunk behind me on the sofa, surprisingly nimble for his height, either of his legs on the outside of my own, his chest against my back. I stopped breathing at his proximity. Leather and oranges flooded my senses. I wasn't sure what I thought he meant when he offered to help me, but it wasn't this.

"Here, you want to tip the base out more so you can look down and better see what you are doing." He nudged it out with his foot.

I could see the strings more easily this way, he was right.

"Beautiful," he covered my hand in his, making mine look miniscule by comparison, "now soften your grip, no need to hold on for life. That's perfect."

He moved our hands over the strings and played the same piece, it sounded almost right. We played together and I started to feel the music as more than just a mathematic equation, I couldn't escape the feeling of him behind me. He dropped his chin to my shoulder and I felt his hair against my cheek, he was impossibly close. John stared at us in wonder, his lips parted, looking as though he might cry.

I felt the scratch of Lafayette's stubble against my cheek as he turned his lips to my ear and whispered, "may I kiss you?"

My breath stopped, I had imagined it so many times, but never in a pair of John's pajamas. Never sitting like this with him. I wanted him in as many ways as I wanted John. There was no denying it. I nodded, John's eyes widened to take us in better, he stared on and bit his lip.

I turned my head to face Lafayette and he kissed my lips delicately, exploring the waters. I kissed him back, inquisitively poking my tongue out to taste him. He reached past us and leaned the cello onto the ground and cupped my cheek in his large hand and kissed me, opening our lips and deepening the kiss. He was cardamom and cloves and leather and oranges and perfection. I moaned softly, embarrassed by my lack of restraint and reached up to touch his shoulder.

He pulled back, "you are exquisite."

"That was like nothing before." I shook my head.

"I have spent many long days and nights wanting you, envious of the way that my beloved talks about you. Wanting to experience you for myself."

I melted against his broad chest, wanting to kiss him more. Wanting so desperately to be touched by him.

"Guys, as beautiful as this is, I'm damn near exploding over here, can a fella get some attention?" John writhed in his seat.

"Shall we all go to the bedroom?" I offered, feeling empowered by the new depths of my relationship with Lafayette, it was all so unfamiliar, so foreign, so exciting.

John was the first to strip and Lafayette lavished his body with affection, familiar with him, with the spots that he could assail with his mouth to make John keen and plead. I unbuttoned the shirt that John lended me and Lafayette licked his lips.

"You are so beautiful, my Alexander."

My stomach twisted at being considered his. John was on his knees behind me on the bed, kissing my shoulder with his open mouth as I watched Lafayette drink me in.

"I told you." John said smugly.

"Of course I believed you, lover. But in person, this is… exquisite."

I could feel myself blushing at the thought of them discussing me. I was foggier than I realized from the drinks and I felt myself being laid down. John held me in his arms while Lafayette traced the lines of my body. It felt so right being between them. John's warm, familiar form behind me contrasting Lafayette's exciting, new touch. I realized that even as he kissed me, Lafayette still had a hand on John's hip. His kisses were so different from John's. Where John was cocky and confident in himself, Lafayette was soft and passionate. John kissed me like he was showing off, but Lafayette? Lafayette kissed me like he was trying to remind me of something long forgotten. We all took turns touching and exploring one another. I got passed between them. Lafayette held me in his arms, dwarfing me while John kissed me, worrying my nipple.

The night passed quietly as the snow outside accumulated, so too, did our affections. We fooled around, but nothing more came of it. We all seemed content enough just to explore one another. It seemed as though we were all growing tired, our warm, naked bodies clinging to each other. I lie flush against Lafayette on his strong, visceral bicep, but faced John, sandwiched between the two of them. John's arm slung across my waist and I felt his hand moving to caress Lafayette's hip while the hand belonging to the arm I'd claimed from Lafayette tangled in John's hair. We were one. I watched John soften in front of me as Lafayette played with his curls, clearly a familiar action. He started to breathe heavily with the fog of sleep washing over him.

"I love you, my darling." Lafayette whispered.

"I love you, sweetheart," he wriggled closer to me, "goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, John, night Lafayette." I sighed, feeling them both.

"Goodnight, my sweetest Alexander." Lafayette breathed against my neck, kissing the tender flesh there once more before I fell asleep without another opportunity to wonder what type of predicament I'd found myself in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for being patient! I love this story so much and hope that you do as well. I'm thirsty for comments if you feel so inclined.

“Does it make you mad?” John asked me, his breath plumed around his face in smoky billows.

 

“Does what make me mad?” I craned my neck to look at him while we walked, sure to keep enough distance between us. 

 

“Knowing that I can't put my arm around you to keep you warm while we walk, that I can't kiss your cheek when we wait to cross the street.”

 

“I suppose it does.”

 

“It makes me so mad I could spit.”

 

“I'm sorry. I don't know what you want me to do about that.” 

 

“Nothing really can be done. Just the circumstances.” He shrugged it off and held the door down to the speakeasy for me to follow him.

 

“Heya, Barney.” John clapped the bouncer on the shoulder. 

 

The big man grumbled some sort of a greeting in response and John started setting things up for the night. He tied his long curls back and I couldn't help but laugh at the curl that immediately hung over his eyes. He worked to tally the inventory and held a pencil between his teeth, bent over the bar, whispering the order under his breath. I swallowed hard at the sight of him in the low gas lights. 

 

“Laf’s coming tonight.” He told me absentmindedly that around the pencil. 

 

“He is?” my heart fluttered, in the two weeks since the night that we’d all spent tangled around one another, I’d only seen him once or twice, John always claiming that he wanted to let John and I get to know one other better before getting too involved.

 

“They're playing tonight. I'm excited for you to finally hear his band. They're pretty good. He's the best, though. You don't usually hear a cello in a jazz band.”

 

I loved the way John's eyes sparkled when he talked about Lafayette. In our closed, little system, John was the binding factor which meant that when I saw how much he loved Lafayette it made me fall for the other man more for myself. Who couldn’t love somebody whose name alone could dot John’s cheek with dimples and make him giggle like the drunk girls in his bar? 

 

“When will he get here?” I asked.

 

“Probably not for another hour or so. You want something?” 

 

“Can you make me a drink like he does?” 

 

He rolled his eyes and turned around to start fixing my cocktail, “how do I find myself with not one but two men who can’t drink?”

 

An arm slung around my shoulder, “my love, are you saying I cannot handle my alcohol?” 

 

I looked up to see Lafayette behind me. His arm settled on my chest and he rested his chin on the top of my head, holding his cello case in his other hand. 

 

John turned around and grinned like starlight at Lafayette, his nose crinkling with the intensity of his smile, “I’m just saying you both drink like little girls. Not everything has to be syrupy.”

 

Lafayette shrugged, “food and drink should be enjoyed, non?” 

 

John giggled and doubled the drink that he was making for me, pouring it into two glasses and handed one to each of us before pecking Lafayette on the lips, “here you go, kids.” 

 

“Thank you, my love,” he sat on the stool beside me and set his cello upright on the other side, “and how are you amour de mon cœur?” 

 

I smiled to myself,  _ heart of my love,  _ that was such an endearing way to look at what we were to each other. Even though we were spending so much time as a trinity, it was still John, it would always be John that wove our hearts together. 

 

“I’m fine, Laf, and how are you?” my hand covered the one of his on my chest. 

 

“I could not be better. I get to play music for my two favourite people. Nothing else sparks my heart like this can.”

 

“Nothing else pays our rent like it either.” John teased. 

 

“That may be a contributing factor. Though you've been doing rather well for yourself lately. Perhaps it is your talent in preparing ‘little girl drinks’?” 

 

We drank and chatted, John leaning over the bar toward us, a hand holding one of mine and Lafayette’s respectively. Between sips of his cocktail, Lafayette’s free hand rested on my thigh. We were a system. It stayed like this until people started to trickle in and John got to work, he spun bottles at the girls, and they clapped and giggled, the fringe of their dresses shaking. I noticed him roll his eyes when he'd turn to face the shelves. 

 

“Showtime, cher,” Lafayette pulled my chin closer to himself and kissed me, our stubble coarse and gripping. 

 

“Go get ‘em.”

 

I sipped at the pale cocktail John had made me and watched Lafayette tie his hair high into a perfectly round puff on the top of his head while the rest of the band tuned their instruments. They laughed with one another and I listened to his laugh over the sound of the accumulating crowd. John’s laugh was like tinkling bells, Lafayette’s, though, was like waves lapping at a rocky beach. I sipped my drink again and shifted in my seat. John was distracted by orders coming in, he flirted and schmoozed, none of it was real, though. I knew what real John flirting looked like. It looked like the hooded glances that he gave Lafayette over the dinner table or shaking his curls off of his face at me. I shifted in my seat again.

 

“Got ants in your pants, babydoll?” John whispered in my ear, letting his hot breath ghost the shell. 

 

“No ants, just a stiffy.” I smirked and felt heat rise to my cheeks. 

 

He stepped up on the ledge of the bar and bent over it to look at my lap, “I’d have to agree. Want me to take you in the backroom?” 

 

“John, no, that’s crazy.”

 

He giggled the tinkling bells and said over his shoulder, “‘course it is, I’m working, but it was worth it just saying, ‘cause now just look at you squirming like a wiggle worm.” 

 

I knew that he was right. This was real John flirting, exciting me just to stare. The band started and I watched them play. Laf’s eyes closed and his body swayed in the seat behind his cello, his large hands fretting the neck. I swallowed hard. They did sound good, delightfully unconventional, like so much of my life had become and I enjoyed it. John sat on the bar and watched Lafayette along with me. He rubbed my shoulders and whispered jokes in my ear about the people dancing.

 

“Why, you wanna dance?” I looked up and asked him.

 

“I don’t think you can keep up with me.” There was a glint in the gold strands of his eyes.

 

“I know I can’t, but it sure sounds like fun to try.” I fired back. 

 

He slid across the bar and hopped onto the floor beside me, “let’s go, then.” 

 

I let him lead and he started off simple, finding time with the music, I copied his footwork, easy enough to do. He twisted his hips and I lost count of where I was, he caught me and bobbed his head in time to help me find the beat. I stepped in time with him. He was a phenomenal dancer. I nearly fell flat on my back as he kicked a leg clear over my head. We were amassing a crowd, everyone delighted to see their darling bartender dancing so incredibly. He whipped me in a circle and I threw my head back in laughter as he circled me, his hands on my chest and then quickly on my back. He found his steady pace again, no longer showing off, stepping and twisting back and forth. I chuckled to myself at the sound of a sour cello note, but just a single sour note. Lafayette was a professional, even while distracted with John. Others joined us and danced wildly, none of them possessed the same finesse that he did. He twirled the ladies that got too close by their fingertips, but his eyes never left mine. 

 

Eventually, the music flourished and the song ended. I was out of breath and wiped my damp brow. John pecked a kiss on my cheek and squeezed me tight in his arms on our way back to the bar. I sat and finished my drink while he poured himself a few fingers of whiskey. 

 

“I knew you’d be good, but chrissakes.” I shook my head in disbelief.

 

“Baby, I’m from Charleston, that’s  _ my  _ dance.”

 

“Oh… well, I suppose it makes sense that you trip the light fantastic,” I teased him.

 

He winked at me and shook his head, starting to fix customers their drinks. Eventually, the band took a break. Lafayette shook hands in the crowd and made his way over to us. 

 

“You want something to drink, love?” John asked him, leaning in to kiss him. 

 

He nodded and leaned against my back, holding my hands up against my chest. I could feel the indents from the strings on his fingers. 

 

“How do you like the music?” Lafayette whispered in my ear. 

 

I shivered against his warm breath, “it's beautiful.” 

 

“Will you come home with us tonight? I want to be with you both.”

 

“Okay.” I smiled up at him. 

 

John slid two drinks across the bar at us and kissed Lafayette again. Laf tucked that stray curl behind John's ear and cupped his cheek before gliding back through the crowd to the stage. John watched him walk away and sighed, he took my hands in his. 

 

The band began again and we watched, enthralled. At a break in the music, Lafayette stood from his cello and stepped in front of the microphone. I wondered if he could sing, too. 

 

“I'd like to dedicate this next song to Alex.” He raised his glass toward me and I felt heat crawl over my cheeks. 

 

The band played again, played for me, and I swayed in my seat for the duration. 

 

As the night drew to a close John began to work to shut the bar down and once the crowds started to file out he began to count the cash. Lafayette and the band packed up their equipment and then counted their own tip jar, sharing the pot. John gave them a small cut of the profit and set some aside for the doorman. I waited with them. 

 

“I'm going to go home and start the fire, it is going to be cold in the flat.” Lafayette decided. 

 

“We'll be right behind you.” John said between counting. 

 

“I was… wondering if Alexander might want to come along with me?”

 

I looked at John, he shrugged, “you don't answer to me, go with Laf if you want.”

 

The cop in me took over, “but you'll have all the money with you, if something happens-”

 

He cut me off, “-please, Laf’s way more vulnerable than I am. I'm a good fighter, too.”

 

“I am not vulnerable.” Lafayette said cooly. 

 

“My love, you know what I mean.” John soothed him and he relented. 

 

“I'll walk with you, Lafayette.” I took his hand, feeling brave, I knew we'd be alone for a while before John came along. 

 

We said our goodbyes to John and set off into the frigid night. Lafayette's strides were far longer than mine. 

 

“I am glad that you came along with me.” He grinned as we walked. 

 

“Well, I want to get to know you better.” A sense of determination rippled through me, I couldn’t help how nervous he made me feel. I didn’t know how he and John could both do it to me so easily.

 

“I want to know everything about you, mon petit.”

 

I wrinkled my nose, “I'm really not that small.”

 

“No, I suppose you are not, but you are  _ delicate  _ in my heart. That is not how I want to phrase it, but I lack the English to explain myself… I want to take care of you, Alexander.”

 

“Take care of me? I take perfectly fine care of myself.”

 

“Shh, there is nothing to defend. Maybe I am still not explaining myself so well as I want to be. Of course you do, but your shoulders look so tight after your hard work at a desk, weighed down with your guns, I want to rub them until they don’t hurt you anymore. I want to prepare meals for you, I so love watching you fawn over my cooking. I want to hold you in my arms.” 

 

I thought about the night that he taught me to play his cello and just how good being in his arms had felt, and then his kisses and the way that he traced the lines of my body with his lips, falling asleep between him and John. I was trying to lean into this. Into the nerves of him wanting to be with me. I never wanted to just be John’s, I couldn’t deny that I wanted Lafayette as well and I wanted him in different ways than I wanted John. John was exciting and dangerous, he was exhilarating and charming, easy to love. Lafayette, however, was steadfast and soothing, refined and confident. With John as my equal counterpart, both of us hungry and cocky, Lafayette brought balance. I wanted to feel more balanced. 

 

“Do you have anything to say?” Lafayette asked me softly. 

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you hanging… I was just thinking. I like you a great deal more than I thought I would. Hell, I spent the first few weeks knowing John being terrified of you, but… I do like you as well. The kisses that we’ve shared, the way you make me feel when you hold me.”  

 

He exhaled heavily and laughed, “you made me nervous, cher.” 

 

“Good,” I smirked at him, “maybe now you know how I feel all the time.” 

 

He unlocked the apartment door and let me inside first. 

 

“May I make you some tea, Alex? Warm you?” 

 

“Please,” I nodded. 

 

“Will you start the fire?” 

 

I hung up my coat and squatted in front of the fireplace under the grand oil painting and started arranging the logs. Lafayette was in the kitchen clanging the tea kettle and china softly. I struck a match and set the fire to life. The room instantly grew warmer. To be sure that it would stay, I stoked it until one of the larger logs caught. Lafayette appeared with two delicate mugs. 

 

“Thank you.” I took the mug gratefully and sat on the couch. 

 

“And thank you, I hate making fires, John does it so much better than I do.” 

 

“But you still volunteered to come do it?” 

“Of course. I want him to be warm when he gets home. He works so hard, I want him to be able to just relax.” 

 

I sipped the tea, it was warm and spiced, cardamom and cloves, orange peel. Of course it was. 

 

“So, who takes care of you, then?” I asked of Lafayette. 

 

He smiled softly and sat beside me on the sofa, setting his mug on the end table, “I am taken care of by showing those that I love that I love them.”

 

“I see,” I stared quizzically at him. 

 

Lafayette pulled my legs into his lap and gently took off my shoes, my toes felt frigid under their socks, “you’re cold,” he pulled the afghan that I’d first seen him sleeping under and covered us with it, before taking my feet back into his hands and starting to rub them. 

 

“I’m… um… I’m on my feet a lot, they aren’t very nice…” I stuttered, so damned nervous around him.

 

He hushed me, “relax, my sweetest one.” 

 

I took a deep breath and drank my tea while he rubbed my feet, letting out little moans and sighs as his thumbs dug into the balls of my feet. He hummed a tune to himself, to me, to no one in particular. I opened my eyes again and stared at the oil painting, a woman darker than Lafayette stared back at me, painted wearing a stunning ball gown, cinched at her waist, though she wasn’t a terribly petite woman, and flowing elegantly to the ground. She was in an opulent room with a little dog at her feet.

 

“My maman.” Lafayette noticed me looking at the painting.

 

“She’s beautiful.” 

 

“She was the most beautiful woman in the world.” He smiled sadly down at my feet. 

 

“I miss my mom, too.” 

 

“The hurting never goes away, it becomes less.” 

 

“It does.” I agreed. 

“Your family died from a storm, you said?” 

 

“That’s the short version… no one really wants to hear the long version.” 

 

He reached over and combed my hair out of my eyes, “if you want to tell me, I would want to hear it. You do not have to hide anything from me, from us.” 

 

“My mother was sick before the storm… she died when I was a child, but I made it alright on my own… I had a brother, but he vanished in the storm and I can’t remember when I last saw my father. I was young… that all sort of blended together, like. When the storm happened, it killed almost everyone else that I knew, it devastated everything, the entire island.”

 

He softly asked for more information, “how did you make it here?” 

 

“I had a cousin here in New York, I got put on a ship and there you have it. He was a good guy, but he took the big sleep… killed himself.” 

 

Lafayette stopped rubbing my feet, “that’s horrible. I am so sorry.” 

 

“It happens. Enough about my sob story, what happened to your parents?” 

 

“The war was about to start, the tensions were rising and my parents sent me to live in Louisiana with my grandmother. They were afraid that our family would be a… target, is how you say? Because we have money and a title, they did not want me to be there if the occupation took footing. I never heard from them again and then my grandmother received word that they had attempted to escape and their ship was taken down by the Germans, everyone aboard perished.” 

 

He took a sip and looked back down at my feet. 

 

“I’m sorry.” I chewed at my lip.

 

“How is your tea?” He smiled, wanting to change the subject.

 

“It’s delightful. Thank you.” 

 

He sipped his own but then continued rubbing my feet, his fingers now warmed by the mug. 

 

The door flung open with John’s exuberance and he shivered with a whoop, “damn, it’s cold as hell out there.” He started to pull his cold weather gear off and hung it on the hook by the door. 

 

Once he was down to his regular clothes he kissed Lafayette and knelt by the fire, “feels so good, thank you, sweetheart.”

 

“Alexander made the fire.” 

 

“What do you know about that! Thank you, then, Alex.” He stuck his hands near the flame for a moment and then came over to kiss me. 

 

“How did you do tonight?” Lafayette asked. 

 

John sat beside me on the sofa and I leaned back into him, “not too bad. Couple centuries. The band that played tonight always draws a crowd.”

 

“You flatter me.” Lafayette winked at him. 

 

“Did you fellas have fun?” 

 

“We were just talking.” I assured him. 

 

“Waste of damned time if you ask me. I mean, look at the two of you!” 

 

“You’re ridiculous, mon amour.” Lafayette shook his head. 

 

“Let’s go to bed.” John pleaded.

 

“Desperate.” I teased, but the three of us turned tail for the bedroom. 

 

Once in the cool room we disrobed and slid under the heavy blankets, John in the middle, cuddled into the crook of Lafayette’s arm, I took my place against John’s chest and he stroked my hair. 

 

“Thanks for coming home with us.” John kissed the top of my head. 

 

“It’s really my pleasure.” I felt my cheeks redden against him. 

 

“Laf’s done nothing but talk about you after we fooled around that night.” 

 

“It is true. The meals that we have shared since that night have paled in comparison.” Lafayette agreed from the other side of the bed. 

 

I couldn’t understand what it was that they saw in me. John rolled to face me and his lips were on mine in an instant, his kisses were always urgent, fervent, excited as my own were. I returned his affections in earnest and tasted his tongue with my own and wrapped his long curls around my fingers, tugging him closer to me. He moaned low in his throat, reverberating against my tongue. 

 

The sounds of shuffling at the other side of the bed and John’s sudden, jerking movements reminded me that Lafayette wasn’t touching me. I needed him as well.

 

“That is not fair, put him in the middle, John.” Lafayette grumbled, seeming to hear my thoughts. 

 

John slid around me and I found myself flanked by both of them. The sensation of the two of them was overwhelming, felt complete, what I had been missing in my kiss with John now had the balance of Lafayette. He began kissing his way across my collarbones as John lapped at the hollow of my jaw. I whimpered and reached through the darkness for both of them, running my hands over John’s perfect abs, my other hand tight on Lafayette’s bicep. John gripped me by my hair and pulled my head back, exposing my throat. Lafayette took advantage of this and lapped at my adam’s apple. I pushed back against John, enamored with the dual sensations of the two of them. I felt John spread my legs and feel deeply for my warmth. He softly prodded the tight pucker of my opening and started to relax me against his touch. I felt like I was on fire and falling from great heights at the same time. There were slick noises behind me that I ignored, leaning forward into Lafayette who was holding me and pressing kisses to my chest. 

 

“Come here, baby.” John whispered in my ear, pulling me back into his lap and lowering me down, still faced away from him. He was hard and ready but took me slowly, letting my body adapt to the strain. 

 

Lafayette teased at my nipples and as John lowered me down the rest of the way dropped his head to my own stiffy, dragging his lips over the tight, sensitive skin. I cried out, the sound echoing in the room. 

 

“Yeah, baby,” John nipped at my ear, “love that sound. You like this?” 

 

“I do.” I struggled to speak, the words catching in my throat. 

 

Lafayette finally wrapped his mouth around my girth and sucked deeply. I wanted to snap my legs shut against the intensity, but John’s big hands were behind my knees, pulling them out to the sides and back by my chest. There was so much. My whole body was alight, filled deep with John behind me, feeling the ridges of Lafayette’s throat in front of me. I reached down and gripped Lafayette’s hair, needing to grasp something to bind me to reality. John released one of my legs which dropped heavily against Laf’s back, he nuzzled his cheek against my thigh, never breaking his stroke. When I looked back down, John had taken Lafayette’s hand, Lafayette gently stroking the back of John’s in time with the motions of him mouth on me. 

 

We were a connected unit in this moment, cogs in a machine, all of us touching one another, feeling one another. John hoisted my leg higher and his movements became deeper and needier, less predictable. I stared down at his hand gripping Lafayette’s and felt him release into me and dropped my head against his chest. 

 

He panted and turned his attention to satisfying me, worrying my nipple between his finger and his thumb. With another swallow I let myself go in Lafayette’s mouth and was soothed by the swallowing moan before Laf surfaced again. 

 

He licked his lips and stared at me, eyes full of want, “you are exquisite.” 

 

“Do you want me, too?” I asked him.

 

“Of course I do, but I worry that that is too much work on you, I want you to have time to recover.” 

 

John slid out from behind me and sat waiting on his knees at my side, “c’mon, love, at least let his blow you, it’s… incredible, you’re missing out.” 

 

Lafayette looked at me, waiting for some sort of cue from me, I nodded eagerly and lie down, letting Lafayette lean over me, his knees on either side of my shoulder. John straddled my hips, amusing me. 

 

Before I had a chance to take Lafayette into my mouth he cried out for John, I didn’t let him catch his breath and tried to swallow him whole. It was a challenging feat, he was larger than John and thicker, too, but I was determined. He bucked back and forth between John and I. He tasted delightful and was so warm, in the afterglow of my own satisfaction I was dizzy with my own enjoyment. John’s hand found my waist and caressed it. I reached up and latched onto his wrist. Again, we were all connected, a part of a machine that ran so smoothly with our three components working together. 

 

As I sucked at Lafayette I wondered how it had taken me so long to accept this, how I could have denied myself this degree of satisfaction for so long. They were all that I wanted, this was all that I wanted. I had never known pleasure to the degree that I’d found it in this evening, so pure and deep, unending. John moaned from behind Lafayette and Lafayette bucked hard into me, my throat burning from the sensation as he spilled down the back of it. He gasped and dropped to his elbows. John left me first, and then Lafayette toppled over onto his back. 

 

John wiped his mouth as I did and smirked at me, dropping to kiss me. He tasted different, but still so good. He chuckled and pulled away, “he tastes so good on you.” 

 

I smirked back, “me? Please, he tastes so good on you.” 

 

Lafayette moved slowly, tired from our night of activities and the leftover alcohol in our bodies, he pulled John against him and John followed suit pulling me against himself. We said our goodnights and shared final kisses, John and Lafayette’s lasting a little bit longer. I curled into John’s side and slept against the warmth of his chest. 


	4. Chapter 4

I spent most of my time trying to keep the rest of my precinct away from the speakeasy. We were a busy enough unit that I didn’t have too hard of a time, but it wasn’t like me to let something drop, even with strict command to shut it down. I worked hard, but my days often included daydreaming about getting back to the men I was falling for. The  _ men,  _ hot damn, how I’d gotten myself here, I didn’t understand, but I wasn’t about to question it. For once, I figured, I’d let something good just be.

 

In the last few weeks since we’d walked home together, Lafayette and I were getting even closer, spending time together while John worked. We were well matched, formidable chess opponents, he taught me to play the cello, I taught him about reading body language and other skills I’d picked up from policing. Most evenings we talked and cooked together. I was getting better in the kitchen, thanks to him. There were evenings as well, that we did more than just play chess, though, and I found myself enjoying those nights just as much. He was so different from John, but I craved both of them and longed for the other while he was away. 

 

Though Lafayette and I were becoming closer, my passions for John seemed only to intensify. John was… everything, he was everything to both Lafayette and I. There was no denying that. He was the sun in our little solar system. 

 

One night, he arrived home late from the speakeasy and fell into bed beside me. Lafayette and I were both flirting with sleep. I liked being in the middle, warm on both sides, feeling both of them, I liked how unique they felt beside me. John didn’t smell like liquor and smoke tonight, he smelled like something I couldn’t put my finger on, he was musky, oaky, not like himself. 

 

“Hey, babydoll.” John kissed me. He tasted different, too.

 

“Hi, John.” It all made sense and I swallowed the jealousy that was welling in my throat. 

 

“You’re certainly home late, tiger.” Lafayette laughed sleepily.

 

“I should have called. Sorry. It was a good night, though.” 

 

“You shall have to tell us in the morning over breakfast.” Lafayette told him. 

 

This was just fine? Someone else just flitting into John’s world was alright? My eyes felt prickly and I rolled to face Lafayette, a part of me wanted to seek his comfort, the other part just didn’t want to be that close to John. Didn’t want to taste the other man on him again.

 

“Alex?” John whispered. 

 

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to talk to him. I just nuzzled into the thatch of hair on Lafayette’s chest and tried to will myself asleep. He couldn’t talk to me about it if I was asleep. I didn’t ever want to talk to him about it. I thought about how not so long ago I was in this place. I was the man that Lafayette tasted on him. I didn’t want to think about it. Lafayette opened his arms to me, he even fell for me, too. That put the blame on me, I knew what this was, what we were, but I thought that we were enough for him. I didn’t want anything else. It didn’t seem like Laf wanted anything else, so why weren’t we enough for John?

 

The two men fell asleep on either side of me but I couldn’t sleep. I stayed awake, listening to them breathing and felt sorry for myself. I should have known that this would hurt me. I should have known that I couldn’t be enough for him. I was no Lafayette, but certainly between both of us, he had everything he wanted. I held onto Lafayette’s sleeping form, they had their hands clasped over my hip. This was supposed to be us. A closed system. A unit. The three of us. Not someone else.

 

Finally, I did sleep, and when morning came, I was quick to dress myself and go down to the precinct. I poured myself a cup of hot, strong coffee and tried to settle into work. I kept getting distracted thinking about the foreign smells and tastes John brought home last night. Was he better looking than me? Maybe he was richer, maybe he wasn’t such a prude. Would John even still want me or would they cast me aside for the new cat? I tried not to think on it for too long, it just stung the longer I thought about it. There was no denying that part. 

 

I thought about just going back to my apartment that night. I didn’t really want to confront them I didn’t want to see John. I didn’t want to talk about last night. I didn’t want to hear that he didn’t want me anymore. I wanted even less to listen to him pander to me and tell me that he did want me. How could he want me and be out with someone else? Someone new? Lafayette had told me that it finally felt complete. That the three of us  _ were  _ a unit. Not to John. Ultimately, I did go back to their apartment, I wanted to see them. I wanted to see John’s freckles and his dimples and his rear in his trousers. I wanted to spend time with Lafayette and touch his smooth skin, feel his hard muscles against me. I wanted these things even more because of the expiration date on them. I was sure that this wasn’t going to be permanent. 

 

I was more nervous knocking on the door than I had been when I first came over for dinner. Lafayette let me in and sat back on the sofa. John was in his armchair. I could feel that the mood was heavy. 

 

“How are you, gentlemen?” I asked them. 

 

“We’re alright. Jack has some things he’d like to say.” Lafayette told me. 

 

“Okay?” I looked between the two of them, ready for the worst. Would I not even get one more night with them?

 

I took my jacket off and hung my guns up carefully, meticulously, trying to delay the conversation and just be present in this moment, in the little Harlem apartment that was just starting to feel like home. My stomach flipped thinking about the cold, lonely nights in my shoebox. I couldn’t avoid him any longer and sat down beside Lafayette, he gave me a reassuring glance, like he thought it would be okay. I didn’t trust it. 

 

“Go on.” Laf pressed John.

 

John took a deep breath and steepled his hands in front of him, leaning forward until his elbows came to rest on his knees. 

 

“Alex, I’m sorry, baby…” He started, the twang in his honey voice seemed more prevalent. His hair spilled in waves over his shoulder. 

 

I stared ahead, engaging my police training, I didn’t have to feel anything. Feelings were optional. 

 

“Alex?” He said my name so softly that time. 

 

“I heard you.” I met his gaze without seeing him, he hadn’t technically done anything wrong. 

 

“I didn’t think… well, hell, I didn’t think about anything, I got caught up with want and I played by the rules, but I didn’t think about how we hadn’t set rules and I’m sure sorry I hurt you.” 

 

“Alright.” I nodded in a perfunctory fashion. 

 

He got off the chair and got on his knees between my legs, making me see him, his hands on my thighs, longing eyes looking up at me, I looked away, fixed on a spot on the wall, this wasn’t the time to be emotional. 

 

“Alexander, please, just look at me, you’re breaking my heart not looking at me.”

 

Lafayette sat quietly beside us. 

 

“Alright, John, you win, what do you want me to say, huh?” I stared him in his eyes, the only emotion I allowed was anger. 

 

“I don’t know. I just know I hurt you. I hate that I hurt you. I didn’t ever, I don’t ever want to hurt you. We have rules so that this kind of thing doesn’t happen.”

 

“I know, it was wrong of me to be upset. It’s fine. You go and do whatever you need to do. I understand how I came into your life. I know what I mean to you, I guess, what we mean to you.” 

 

“It isn’t like that.” John whispered, the canyons in his eyes were shining. 

 

“What do you mean? How isn’t it like that?” 

 

“Sugar, sometimes sex is just sex. Not with you, not with Lafayette. The two of you… there’s love there, so much love there.” 

 

“Right, cher,” Lafayette agreed, the first thing he’d added to the conversation, he traced the shell of my ear with his callused finger tip. 

 

“And so you’d rather be out with other people instead of home with us?” It didn’t make sense, there was no logic, no reason. 

 

“It’s just… exploration and curiosity, I suppose. There’s nothing like coming home to the people you love, but sometimes it’s fun to explore.” 

 

“I just don’t understand.” I shook my head. 

 

Lafayette shifted toward me, “cher, it’s normal to feel a little bit of jealousy, my Jack forgets that this arrangement is still strange for you. We did not start off bound to the convention of monogamy, it is an easier arrangement for us, and it is our arrangement, we should have re-negotiated the terms when you came into the picture to define them for the three of us.” 

 

“I came home to you,” John reminded me, I just wanted to be with the both of you tonight. That’s the rule, I told you that rule back when it applied to you, when I came home to Laf after our time together.”

 

“I didn’t realize that I was a part of things like that. I thought I was still the odd man out.” I confessed. 

 

“Not at all,” he sighed heartily and dropped his forehead against my belly. 

 

Lafayette stroked through John’s hair, “amour, we should have the conversation.” 

 

“What conversation?” I was still nervous. I hated feeling like I was on eggshells. 

 

John looked at me through watery, red eyes, “to set our own rules.” 

 

“Okay.” I agreed timidly. 

 

I swallowed hard. 

 

“Amour, get off of your knees, there’s plenty of time for that later and the time for groveling is over.” Lafayette tapped on John’s arm to encourage him up and he came to sit on the sofa beside us.

 

We shifted to fit the three of us on the couch and John shifted his legs into my lap, Lafayette rubbed his feet. John took my hand. 

 

“Let’s talk about what’s important.” 

 

I nodded. 

 

“I understand you might not want to take on other partners. Not right now at least, but I know there’s things we can’t give you, that maybe a bird can, it’s okay.” 

 

“I don’t want that.” I shook my head, surprising even myself. 

 

“Right, I’m saying, though if you did.” 

 

“Hypothetically.” I insisted. 

 

“The rules have always been that we come home to each other. We always have a night to ourselves afterwards, we always use protection.”

 

Lafayette agreed, this was the foundation of their relationship. 

 

“Those are fine rules, I just need to get on board.” I smiled, feeling silly. 

 

John let out a big breath, “I don’t know, it didn’t feel the same.” 

 

Lafayette paused in rubbing John’s feet, “what do you mean, amour?” 

 

“I was thinking about you both the whole time. I wanted to come home and fall asleep with you both and, christ, I was thinking about the nights we’re all together.”

 

“They are fantastic nights.” Lafayette agreed. 

 

“I don’t really think I want anyone else right now, I mean, I feel like I wasted time with you two that I can’t get back. Alex, things are still so so new with you, I just want to keep exploring you and getting to know you. This is it for me, I mean right now, at least.” John shrugged. 

 

“Absolutely.” Lafayette agreed, nodding his head, his tight coils bouncing with the motion. 

 

“God, I feel like a fool, a damn idiot.” John shook his head. 

 

“It’s okay, John. I know how we met, I’m not stupid, I should have known there would be others.” 

 

“Not if it hurts the people I love. I went about things all wrong. This conversation should have happened first, happened long before I did anything else. I should have thought things through. I should have just come home.” 

 

“Darling,” Lafayette shook his head, “you are forgiven, it is okay, you need not pay penance, we will all make mistakes, that is a part of love. I have made mistakes with you, I made mistakes with Adrienne. Mistakes are a part of life, a part of love.” 

 

“I’ll be better at talking things out first.” John promised. 

 

“I forgive you, John. It’s all just new for me and I thought maybe you were bored of me and things are going so well with me and Lafayette and I just didn’t want to think about losing the two of you.”

 

“Losing us?” John snorted, “baby, I love you.” 

 

My stomach flipped dizzily, “you love me?” 

 

“Completely,” Lafayette agreed behind me. 

 

“You’re ours.” John told me. 

 

“Our missing piece.” 

 

“The finishing touch.” 

 

“I love you, too. Both of you. I love you, two.” The words played through my mind over and over.

 

This was the most unique love I’d ever felt, but it was also the most complete love. I felt whole with them, the balancing act of John’s excitement and danger, Lafayette’s intellect and warmth. They were both of the things I’d vacillated between in my previous relationships. 

 

“Now, have we talked things over?” Lafayette asked us.

 

“I think so.” I nodded. 

 

“Yeah, it we want things to be different, we’ll talk it out, before anything happens,” John agreed, “but right now I want you two. I want you, Alex.” 

 

My stomach did another flip, this time filled with butterflies. 

 

We went to the bedroom and the three of us carefully made slow work of undressing one another, lavishing at shoulders and throats with lips and tongues. I felt them pressing me down to the bed, hushing me. Lafayette before me and John pulling me back against him. 

 

“You’re mine, darlin’,” John whispered in my ear, “I’m so glad that you came in my bar, all big, tough cop, that night. I loved you the moment I saw you. I liked the thrill of pursuing you. I liked how I scared you. I can’t promise not to hurt you, that’s a part of life, I suppose, but I promise to always come home to you, to always want you.” 

 

I kissed his fingers and felt them wriggle toward my nipples. My head fell back against his chest at the touch. Lafayette was still kneading my thighs, releasing the tension I’d let build up in the long muscles. 

 

“So beautiful.” Lafayette murmured, bowing down to kiss at my hips. 

 

John continued to twist and pull at my nipples leaving me writhing between them, growing heavy with want. Lafayette’s lips trailed from my hips to the center of my body and lapped at my hardness. I arched back into John and felt his love, felt his safety as he dropped kisses to my neck and shoulder. One of John’s hands left my nipple and tangled into Lafayette’s hair where it plumed over my hips as he worked. He groaned at John’s touch and the sensation reverberated around me. 

 

“Lafayette, baby, I want him.” John cooed softly. 

 

Lafayette pulled off of me and left me cold in the night air. He came up to the corner of the bed and sat beside me, stroking my hair and fawning over me. John worked at me with stretching, warm sensations. He was so tender, though, that I almost didn’t notice the change in intrusion as he pressed into me. I shifted my gaze from Lafayette to John above me, feeling him move inside me. His hands were now on either side of my shoulders and his eyes looked at me with a soft, tender stare. 

 

Lafayette brushed John’s hair over his shoulder and let John kiss him deeply. I gripped John’s hip in one hand and Lafayette’s hand with the other, we were connected again and all was right in our little world once more. John bent down and kissed me deeply, carrying now, only the taste of Lafayette. I moaned into his mouth at the taste and reached blindly for Lafayette’s length. He let out a low sound when I wrapped my hand around him. John sped up his motions at the noise and kept thrusting, I bit at his shoulder to mitigate the burn, the pleasure, the two sensations warring. Lafayette lie down to kiss me, our faces turned toward one another as I continue to work him over. John cried out, ebbing closer to his ecstacy. I gasped as he worked faster, hitching my legs higher on his waist, my ankles crossing behind his back. 

 

“I’m so sorry I hurt you, darlin’.” John whispered, not breaking his stride. 

 

“Honey, it’s all forgotten.” I caressed his cheek and let my hands fall to the sheets and tangle there as I came. 

 

Bliss tore through me. John gripped my arms and cried out in his own ecstacy. He pulled away from me, leaving me empty and dropped his weight on me. He and I lie there for what could have been eternities, basking in one another, basking in forgiveness. We turned to see Lafayette pleading and needing. 

 

“Cher, may I?” He begged of me.

 

I nodded and let my legs fall open again. 

 

“No, love, come here,” he shifted up against the headboard and pulled me into his arms. 

 

I faced him and lowered myself onto him, waiting below me and was glad that John had had me first. I was more ready for Lafayette. I dropped slowly onto him and felt him cup my hips in his hands, he gave me a soft smile. John straddled his legs behind me and kissed my shoulders. 

 

“I am so glad that you are ours,” Lafayette whispered, caressing the lines of my body, “I waited so long for you.” 

 

I moved on him, feeling him twitch within me. He was tender and careful, yet his presence was commanding, he had everything in control. All along, I’d thought that John was what held us together, but the fabric we were woven into was Lafayette. He was our reason, our logic, our sensibility. With John and I both hot headed and constantly warring to prove ourselves to the other, we needed the balance, the medium of Lafayette to temper us. I rested my head against Laf’s chest, listening to his racing heart, this was where I was meant to be. It didn’t take much for bliss to surge through me again and leave me shuddering and spent, sticky on Lafayette’s abdomen. I leaned back against John and let him hold me while Lafayette rode out the waves of his pleasure. 

 

“Thank you for loving us.” John whispered amidst the cries of my name from our lover beneath us. 

 

“I have to. I can’t be without either of you.” 


End file.
